why did the chicken cross the road?

Why did the chicken cross the road?*

I

n a private unpublished study in 1976, scientists placed 20 chickens on one side of the road. Out of the 20 subjects, 15 crossed the road immediately, 3 crossed it with a little hesitation. Only 2 remained on the same side of the road. Out of the 2 chickens 1 of the chickens is crippled and can’t walk. Therefore we can conclude that chickens cross the road every time possible. But why?  Why did the chicken cross the road?

A simple question yet one which had been a mystery for many, many years. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side? To commit suicide?  And why chicken, not duck nor goose? Last but not least, why “the” chicken but not just “chicken” in general? After much savaging and researching- mostly in my mind- I have came out with the most possible solution.

It happened not so long time ago, in a place not so far away (Paris, 1798). There was a piece of land which now positions the Eiffel Tower. This piece of land, called paradis éternel, by the chickens, (don’t ask me how they interview a chicken, I don’t know) means eternal paradise in French. Here used to lay a chicken farm, whose owner was chased by the bank for delayed payment. The chicken farmer, farmer Collins, seeing no other way out, turned over his farm to the bank. But not before releasing his beloved chickens out into the open, not willing them to become chicken soup, not eaten by him.

So the chickens roamed freely around paradis éternel, the eternal paradise for 10 years. But good things never last. In 1805, the peace was disturbed. Chickens, which were resting comfortably in the field, heard a loud chomp and a vicious bark and the chickens flew into the chicken at well – chicken speed. Out of the tangled vines of the, um, farm’s used to be wheat field, sprung a horrendous sight. A man, whom was not their master, with 2 vicious dogs, armed with teeth like razor blades and murderous eyes.

"ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?"

“Old farmer Collins may have forgotten ’bout his chickens, but I Dillard, farmer Collins’s farm boy, haven’t. Go get them boys. The more you catch the more you get,” the man with the bushy beard said.

The dogs didn’t need any convincing. In a split second, more than 5 chickens lay dead on the ground, and before long a massacre occurred. Only half of the original 70 chickens remain. On the second day, less than half of the remaining chickens were left .The chickens held a conference that night, fearing for their lives.

“At this rate, all of us will be eaten in a few days. We must do something,” said the chicken mayor.

“But what?” exclaimed a chicken.

“That,” continued the mayor, “is what we are here to discuss about.”

The meeting went on. More and more approach were suggested, each more and more hopeful than before. Finally a decision was made. They were going to sue Dillard (chickens are smart enough to talk French).

The news shook the entire town of Paris. Chickens are going to sue a human. That’s insane! The chicken who will be going to represent well- the chickens-is Julian who speaks French most fluently. The trial was bound to be held a week after that. The chickens have high hopes that justice will shine above all.

The trial was never held.

 Nobody knew why. Some say that Dillard negotiate a pact with them, some said that Julian was murdered or accidentally killed in a car accident. The chickens-who believed that that Julian is murdered- held a road-crossing event every day, (chickens have short memory) in memory of Julian and the chickens are relocated to chicken paradise. The villagers and government of Paris have never dared to leak the secret even to their children or grandchildren on rainy days, fearing that chickens can never be treated as “food”.

“Well, at least that is settled,” said the mayor of Paris, while sipping chicken soup generously prepaid by - Dillard.     

 *this article may or may not be correct.